Special K’s

Tonight is the battle of the K’s. Kershaw vs. Kennedy will kick off a four-game series at the Ravine. Neither Clayton nor Ian is up to the K-K-K-Kaliber of their Cy Young (and near Cy Young) seasons last year, but our K is getting there. Speaking of K’s, Matt Kemp and that wall have to stop meeting like that. He was downright loopy after that last collision. It’s amazing he didn’t have a concussion. You could see stars circling around his head. But he has the resilience of Wile E. Coyote, so he’ll probably be back in the lineup up before it’s actually healthy. Let’s hope he remembers how to hit when he does get back. They all seemed to be doing it yesterday (I mean, Grand Slam A.J.!), and the only way we can win this thing is by keeping that up.

Diamondbacks @ Dodgers, Aug. 30-Sept. 2

I Spy Them Coiled

(Diamondbacks @ Dodgers, Aug. 30-Sept. 2, 2012)

I spy them coiled
A reptilian nightmare?
Make ’em slither off!

No do-over for life.

(Image: Randy Choate, relief pitcher)

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Rocky Mountain Hi!

Just a quick pop-in to the mile-high city, three days in the Rockies then back to Vin Scully Bobblehead Night. Let’s make Vin proud while we’re up there, right? He’s staying another year, and he’s all excited about the new team. Everyone is. Even T.J. Simers has softened up. We have a dream lineup now, but that won’t mean much if our pitching doesn’t live up to its own potential. Sure, Kershaw’s great, and Billingsley had found the missing piece before his elbow kicked him in the ass again. But Blanton? I don’t know about him. Four starts and four dismal losses. Belisario doesn’t seem to care whether he strikes out the side or gives up four home runs. He’s getting paid either way. And don’t get me started on Brandon League. That’s just sad. Sure, it’s nice to have the fearsome foursome of Kemp, Ramirez, Gonzalez and Ethier, but if you ain’t got pitching, you ain’t got nothin’.

Dodgers @ Rockies, Aug. 27-29, 2012

Pulverize Mole Hills!

(Dodgers @ Rockies, Aug. 27-29, 2012)

Pulverize mole hills!
Dogs want some blue Denver dreams
Keep ’em in quarry

No reset button in life.

(Image: Luis Cruz, third baseman)

It Isn’t Over ’til It’s Over

I know a sweep by the Giants at home was a bad turn of events for the Blue Crew, but you never know what the next few weeks will hold. We could zoom ahead and the SF team could falter. It could happen! But if Blanton stays in the rotation and Kemp keeps hitting only air, it’s going to be difficult to make it into the post season, no matter what the dreaded Bay Area brawlers do. Plus now we have the D’backs nipping at our heels. It’s hard out here for a Dodgers fan.

Marlins @ Dodgers, Aug. 24-26, 2012

String Up the Guppies!

(Marlins @ Dodgers, Aug. 24-26, 2012)

String up the guppies!
The Marlins stink up Ravine!
Let’s grill up Ozzie

You’d better laugh now and cry later.

(Image: Hanley Ramirez, short stop)

Milk It for All It’s Worth

The Dodgers’ chances may have improved with the 50-game suspension of San Francisco’s best hitter, and they need to make the best of the Giants’ misfortune to solidify a lead in the division. But it’s good that they are not gloating, a) because it’s just basic decency not to revel in someone else’s hard times (leave that to reality TV); and b) because it would be bad karma and hypocritical, given our history with Manny Ramirez. So let’s keep winning like we did on the road, and not crow over spilt Melk.

Giants @ Dodgers, Aug. 20-22, 2012

The ‘Milk Man’ Was Juiced!

(Giants @ Dodgers, Aug. 20-22, 2012)

The “Milk Man” was juiced!
Now, they’re down in our funhouse
Slay the Giants down

Laugh till they think you’re crazy.

(Image: Mark Ellis, second baseman)

Brave New World

Alone in first place. Main competition without its best hitter. Let’s not rest on the 5-2 start to this road trip. We need to sock it to the Braves. Hit ’em good. Pittsburgh went just as we had hoped, other than that fuster cluck with the umps in the fourth and final game. The drive to the finish is upon us. Now is the time to really eat, drink and Think Blue!

Dodgers @ Braves, Aug. 17-19, 2012

We Keep On Tryin’

(Dodgers @ Braves, Aug. 17-19, 2012)

We keep on tryin’
With the Flyin’ Hawaiian.
Shane’s a Brave scalper!

Keep on laughing through the fears.

(Image: Shane Victorino, left fielder)

Shiver Their Timbers!

The Pirates are a winning team for the first time in decades! Aaarrrrggghhh! Now our Doggers have to change all that. The little showdown in South Beach worked out all right. Every time Ozzie challenged or dissed Hanley, the loudmouthed manager got spanked for it. Nice to see. The bats came alive, the pitching most of the time was right on target. Could you believe the two-hitter from Chris Capuano? But still we trail those dastards of the north by one game. The chemistry was clicking in Miami. Let’s hope it can reduce Steel City to a pile of rubble … metaphorically, of course.

Dodgers @ Pirates, Aug. 13-16, 2012

Rip Their Eye Patch Off!

(Dodgers @ Pirates, Aug. 13-16, 2012)

Rip their eye patch off!
Hang those Blackbeard imposters
Chop ’em up for chum!

So start laughing with the fools!

(Image: Adam Kennedy, utility infielder)

Miami Vendetta

Hanley’s got an ax to grind, let’s hope he grinds it good! The 6-4 win over the Rockies showed how the Dodgers should be playing all the time (except for the bases-loaded/no-out debacle that yielded only one run … on a walk). At this writing, San Fran is just one game above us. This 10-game road trip feels especially important. We’ve got all the pieces in their proper order. There are no more excuses for not winning every series.

Dodgers @ Marlins, Aug. 10-12, 2012

Handy Hanley’s Hot

(Dodgers @ Marlins, Aug. 10-12, 2012)

Handy Hanley’s hot
He’s out to exact revenge
How you like me now?

We’re all in the ground to stay?

(Image: Ted Lilly, starting pitcher)

Welcome to the Roller Coaster!

We sweep, we get swept, we sweep again! A Dodger fan could develop bipolar disorder! The lineup Don Mattingly presented against the Cubs this past weekend was impressive, and, unlike so many other combinations he has tried because of injury this year, it felt solid and reliable. We now have the Flyin’ Hawaiian, Mark “The Man” Ellis, Matt KeMVP, Andre the Giant, Hanleywood, “Crazy Eyes” Loney, Luis “Cruz Control” and “All that Jazz” Ellis. Now that Kershaw and Billingsley seem to have found their sea legs, and we added Blanton to the rotation, maybe the roller coaster will stay on the upswing for a little while and we can gain some ground on the Jints!

Rockies @ Dodgers, Aug. 6-8, 2012

Wham! Bam! ‘You see me?’

(Rockies @ Dodgers, Aug. 6-8, 2012)

Wham! Bam! “You see me?”
Our big bad bats be blazin’!
“I see you,” sez Blue!

And wise men say, it doesn’t matter now.

(Image: Josh Lindblom, former relief pitcher)

Snakebit

We gotta watch out for the slither. While the Doggers do-si-do over the division lead with the Giants, those blasted Arizona vipers are sneaking up behind us both. That sweep was painful — and I mean physically, literally, psychically excruciating. Let’s try to revive our mojo with a visit from the pathetic Cubs. We got Hanley and the Flyin’ Hawaiian, we got Matt and Andre, we got K-K-K-Kershaw. We should be on a roll, but it seems like every step forward leads to a giant step back. Put the damn engine in Drive and let’s roll!

Cubs @ Dodgers, Aug. 3-5, 2012

Cubbies Come Clawing

(Cubs @ Dodgers, Aug. 3-5, 2012)

Cubbies come clawing
No ursus horribilis?
Shake ’em off like fleas!

The bones of fools & wise men.

(Image: Jerry Hairston Jr., utility man)