baseball poetry

Another Wet Blanket

Posted on by L.A. Blue Bum

At the fleece blanket giveaway game last night, a guard at the gate said to a die-hard fan, “Well, this is the series that will make us or break us.” The fan said, “Haven’t we said that about every series lately?” The guard replied, “Yeah, but this one is really it.” Then they lost, 2-1, with very little spark under their sneakers.

Cardinals @ Dodgers, Sept. 13-16, 2012

Our Hurlers Get Lit!

(Cardinals @ Dodgers, Sept. 13-16, 2012)

Our hurlers get lit!
The chemistry’s dead, to wit,
Blue sticks be splintered!

Might as well do as the fool says.

(Image: Juan Uribe, bench player)

Ce n’est pas un rêve de pipe! (This Is Not a Pipe Dream!)

Posted on by L.A. Blue Bum

True fans never give up. But, man, the Dodgers are making it tough on us! A pipe has light at the end of the darkness. It is real hard to detect that glimmer right now. Frustration isn’t a strong enough word for the emotion True Blue fans are feeling now.

Dodgers @ Diamondbacks, Sept. 11-12, 2012

Injured & Busted

(Dodgers @ Diamondbacks, Sept. 11-12, 2012)

Injured & busted
A blue train over the cliff
Wild card’s a pipe dream

And who knows when it all goes poof!

(Image: Dodger catcher A.J. Ellis)

I Hear the Fat Lady Now

Posted on by L.A. Blue Bum

It’s over. No need to worry about those expensive post-season ticket packages. They went one tweak too far, and somehow extinguished the spark the Dodgers had at the beginning. They went from the Little Engine That Could to the Big Machine That Breaks Down. Oh well, I guess we’ll have to wait ’til next year.

Dodgers @ Giants, Sept. 7-9, 2012

Is the GM Blind?

(Dodgers @ Giants, Sept. 7-9, 2012)

Is the GM blind?
It’s always pitching, numb nuts
Buy some freakin’ arms!

All we’ve got is this one shot.

(Image: Adrian Gonzalez, first baseman)

Better Playing Through Chemistry

Posted on by L.A. Blue Bum

We saw a spark of it in the last two games with the D’backs, something that makes us push on to win, or at least die trying. The walk-off huddle of joy is a lot of fun to watch … just ask owner Mark Walter, who not only hung out ’til the game was over, but rushed on the field like a kid when A-Gon knocked in Ellis and Victorino. (Speaking of the Flyin’ Hawaiian, I swear his legs were like the Road Runner’s when he zoomed around those bases: just a blur!) Some say, “You can’t win ’em all,” but that’s exactly what the Dodgers have to do to get the division title.

(Padres @ Dodgers, Sept. 3-5, 2012)

We Sink in Big Bucks!

(Padres @ Dodgers, Sept. 3-5, 2012)

We sink in big bucks!
We’ll flip on our heads to win.
Throw us a blue bone

In this existence, ain’t no rewind.

(Image: Shane Victorino, left fielder)

Special K’s

Posted on by L.A. Blue Bum

Tonight is the battle of the K’s. Kershaw vs. Kennedy will kick off a four-game series at the Ravine. Neither Clayton nor Ian is up to the K-K-K-Kaliber of their Cy Young (and near Cy Young) seasons last year, but our K is getting there. Speaking of K’s, Matt Kemp and that wall have to stop meeting like that. He was downright loopy after that last collision. It’s amazing he didn’t have a concussion. You could see stars circling around his head. But he has the resilience of Wile E. Coyote, so he’ll probably be back in the lineup up before it’s actually healthy. Let’s hope he remembers how to hit when he does get back. They all seemed to be doing it yesterday (I mean, Grand Slam A.J.!), and the only way we can win this thing is by keeping that up.

Diamondbacks @ Dodgers, Aug. 30-Sept. 2

I Spy Them Coiled

(Diamondbacks @ Dodgers, Aug. 30-Sept. 2, 2012)

I spy them coiled
A reptilian nightmare?
Make ’em slither off!

No do-over for life.

(Image: Randy Choate, relief pitcher)

Rocky Mountain Hi!

Posted on by L.A. Blue Bum

Just a quick pop-in to the mile-high city, three days in the Rockies then back to Vin Scully Bobblehead Night. Let’s make Vin proud while we’re up there, right? He’s staying another year, and he’s all excited about the new team. Everyone is. Even T.J. Simers has softened up. We have a dream lineup now, but that won’t mean much if our pitching doesn’t live up to its own potential. Sure, Kershaw’s great, and Billingsley had found the missing piece before his elbow kicked him in the ass again. But Blanton? I don’t know about him. Four starts and four dismal losses. Belisario doesn’t seem to care whether he strikes out the side or gives up four home runs. He’s getting paid either way. And don’t get me started on Brandon League. That’s just sad. Sure, it’s nice to have the fearsome foursome of Kemp, Ramirez, Gonzalez and Ethier, but if you ain’t got pitching, you ain’t got nothin’.

Dodgers @ Rockies, Aug. 27-29, 2012

Pulverize Mole Hills!

(Dodgers @ Rockies, Aug. 27-29, 2012)

Pulverize mole hills!
Dogs want some blue Denver dreams
Keep ’em in quarry

No reset button in life.

(Image: Luis Cruz, third baseman)

It Isn’t Over ’til It’s Over

Posted on by L.A. Blue Bum

I know a sweep by the Giants at home was a bad turn of events for the Blue Crew, but you never know what the next few weeks will hold. We could zoom ahead and the SF team could falter. It could happen! But if Blanton stays in the rotation and Kemp keeps hitting only air, it’s going to be difficult to make it into the post season, no matter what the dreaded Bay Area brawlers do. Plus now we have the D’backs nipping at our heels. It’s hard out here for a Dodgers fan.

Marlins @ Dodgers, Aug. 24-26, 2012

String Up the Guppies!

(Marlins @ Dodgers, Aug. 24-26, 2012)

String up the guppies!
The Marlins stink up Ravine!
Let’s grill up Ozzie

You’d better laugh now and cry later.

(Image: Hanley Ramirez, short stop)

Milk It for All It’s Worth

Posted on by L.A. Blue Bum

The Dodgers’ chances may have improved with the 50-game suspension of San Francisco’s best hitter, and they need to make the best of the Giants’ misfortune to solidify a lead in the division. But it’s good that they are not gloating, a) because it’s just basic decency not to revel in someone else’s hard times (leave that to reality TV); and b) because it would be bad karma and hypocritical, given our history with Manny Ramirez. So let’s keep winning like we did on the road, and not crow over spilt Melk.

Giants @ Dodgers, Aug. 20-22, 2012

The ‘Milk Man’ Was Juiced!

(Giants @ Dodgers, Aug. 20-22, 2012)

The “Milk Man” was juiced!
Now, they’re down in our funhouse
Slay the Giants down

Laugh till they think you’re crazy.

(Image: Mark Ellis, second baseman)

Brave New World

Posted on by L.A. Blue Bum

Alone in first place. Main competition without its best hitter. Let’s not rest on the 5-2 start to this road trip. We need to sock it to the Braves. Hit ’em good. Pittsburgh went just as we had hoped, other than that fuster cluck with the umps in the fourth and final game. The drive to the finish is upon us. Now is the time to really eat, drink and Think Blue!

Dodgers @ Braves, Aug. 17-19, 2012

We Keep On Tryin’

(Dodgers @ Braves, Aug. 17-19, 2012)

We keep on tryin’
With the Flyin’ Hawaiian.
Shane’s a Brave scalper!

Keep on laughing through the fears.

(Image: Shane Victorino, left fielder)

Shiver Their Timbers!

Posted on by L.A. Blue Bum

The Pirates are a winning team for the first time in decades! Aaarrrrggghhh! Now our Doggers have to change all that. The little showdown in South Beach worked out all right. Every time Ozzie challenged or dissed Hanley, the loudmouthed manager got spanked for it. Nice to see. The bats came alive, the pitching most of the time was right on target. Could you believe the two-hitter from Chris Capuano? But still we trail those dastards of the north by one game. The chemistry was clicking in Miami. Let’s hope it can reduce Steel City to a pile of rubble … metaphorically, of course.

Dodgers @ Pirates, Aug. 13-16, 2012

Rip Their Eye Patch Off!

(Dodgers @ Pirates, Aug. 13-16, 2012)

Rip their eye patch off!
Hang those Blackbeard imposters
Chop ’em up for chum!

So start laughing with the fools!

(Image: Adam Kennedy, utility infielder)